Tusk (2014)

Pros
  • Tusk is the epitome of tongue-in-cheek
  • The concept of turning a human being into a walrus is as unique as they come, originality is not a factor here
  • Justin Long truly commits to such an unusual role, very bizarre
  • The rumors are true.....Johnny Depp is in the film
  • Kevin Smith surely makes Americans in general look like annoying assholes
  • There are some solid funny moments, some jokes miss their targets, but others certainly hit
  • Canadians vs Americans
  • The main character is so unlikable that it almost seems acceptable for him to be kidnapped and horribly disfigured.......almost
  • The ending is so over the top ridiculous you can't help but laugh

Cons
  • The movie moves extremely slow! Multiple scenes where one character is just talking on and on (Unlike Tarantino where it is interesting dialogue)
  • Kevin Smith builds no tension whatsoever, no atmosphere, no dread, nothing
  • The flashback scenes serve no purpose and add little to nothing to the story, they are what kill the pace
  • Johnny Depps' character speaks 10 words per minute......painfully slow
  • Again with the no tension aspect, Kevin Smith rushes too quickly from capture to final product (transformed into the walrus)
  • The end result of the full transformation looks ridiculously cheap (but that is probably the point)
  • Haley Joel Osment has not aged well
  • Again, this movie's trailer is deceptive, it's far less horror and much more black comedy and drama
  • Overall, the movie just feels stretched thin and too many pointless moments thrown in, to reach a certain runtime

Score: 4/10

While I went into the movie totally open to the idea of someone being kidnapped and turned into a walrus, the movie's execution was thoroughly lacking in a lot of aspects. The biggest issue for the movie is its pacing, there are some very long and monotonous scenes of dialogue that just kill the mood. Tusk spends too much time on outside characters searching for the 'hero' and not enough time inside the mad house where all the action or excitement is. On the other hand, the movie is effectively silly and ludicrous in the best possible way.....if you are able to buy into it. Also, Tusk is surprisingly far less gory than I expected it to be, so you if are worried about that, don't be; and if you are looking for a more, less intense horror movie (heavy comedic tones and silliness), this is sure to please you. In the end I wanted to like this more than I actually did, there were just too many slow moving scenes compared to the true mayhem the story deserved. Perhaps the New York Post said it best - "There's a fine horror film inside Tusk, but it's only 20 minutes long. The rest is just blubber'.